Thru this very long self finding journey, I’ve learned a lot about my self. And I’m here to share with you all what I’ve learned. So this way maybe one day you don’t have to say if I would have known this when I was younger I wouldn’t be here now. And then your 30 and trying to find your self.
Not everyone has a great childhood, or a loveable childhood. Not everyone was ever taught to love their selves. They were always taught to live for someone else and then they will take care of you. I’m here to tell you straight up this isn’t true and this is the wrong road to go down. Please whatever you do don’t go down that road. Go down the self love road.
Learn how to love your self before you get into relationships and try to love someone else. When and only when you have learned to love your self and only then you can try to learn how to love someone else. But finding someone out there who has learned how to love there selves like you did. If you get with someone who hasn’t learned how to love there selves it will be a never ending circle of fights and arguments that aren’t needed. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! And don’t ever think that or allow someone else to tell you that. If you believe for even a second that it is you, then have your truly found your self?
What do I mean when I say love your self? How on earth am I suppose to love my self? Isn’t someone suppose to do that for me so I can love them back… and then we can just love each other and make each other better?? NO! When I say love your self I mean it. You need to learn how to love you, love the way you look, love your personality, love every little flaw, love every little quirk you have, love the way you do things, love everything about your self. Because you were made to be unique in your own way. And if you can’t find someone to love you for all those little flaws or quirks… then he isn’t the right one for you. But…… he makes me happy, we get along so well, he is my one and only, he loves me. But does he? Do you fight more then you smile and get along? But fighting is showing you care. Yes and No…. Yes if its for the right things. If your fighting for all the wrong things, the little things, fighting over stupid shit then what’s the point? I mean really who wants to constantly be fucking fighting all the time, and fighting over little shit is even worse, it gets old and boring.
I once told someone who I know very well, but I have never met her or introduced my self, but yes I know a lot about her, yes thru the grapevine a very close vine. Anyways I told this friend to tell his friend that the only way she was ever going to grow up and move on from him was to live for her self and love her self. When we spend all our time worrying about one person or everyone else but your self or doing things because he or she likes this or that. Your not really living for your self now are you. Your getting your nails done a certain way because he likes it. Or your wearing those yellow dresses because he likes it. Or your wearing a certain perfume because he likes it on you. Or your hair cut hasn’t changed in years because he told you one time that he likes your hair like that. So you wear it just like that forever because he told you he liked it. WTF is this!!! NO ladies! Just no! You go and get your nails, hair, make up, and dress whatever way you want because you like it and it makes you happy. And the RIGHT man will love you one day for the things that you love. And then you never have to change a damn thing because he loves you just the way you are for you because you learned how to love your self before ever wanting to love someone else.
This next part is a little rated R… Fair warning!
I tell you to learn how to love your self in more then just appearance. You need to learn how to PLEASE your self. Yes I just said it. You need to learn how to PLEASE your self, meaning you need to learn how to make your own body quiver and shake and learn all the right spots to hit and FUCKING love it. When and only when you know how to please your self you can then show or tell your man one day how to please you so your love life is mind blowing. If you only ever know how to be pleased according to how men have pleased you its not going to work. What happens one day when your single and you have no man.. These one night stands can’t keep you entertained. So go out and buy that toy and take it home ( or yes buy it online) and then place it in all kinds of positions and try it all out. Start out soft and slow and built up to rougher. Learn and experience it all, learn your body and teach your self what it is you love and stop allowing a man or another woman to tell you what it is your like. Or what it is you “think” you like. Stop doing that. Maybe you have been “doing the deed” and your just not pleased… or maybe that one person who did please you the right way…. is a ex or you just can’t go back to him. But for some reason you still go to him for sex because he was the only one who could please you. Well this is where my learn how to please your self comes in. If you knew how to please your self you wouldn’t be putting your heart thru all that hurt every time you go and see him. Stop doing that. Go home and please your self. Learn how to touch and hit all those right spots by your self. And DO NOT allow your mind to slip to him. DO NOT allow your mind to think about those guys you have been with or all those times you were with someone who made you “feel good”. Just don’t, because you and only you can love your self. This is why I am saying to love your self and learn to please your self. So when your alone or your mans not around you can please your self. You can be OKAY being alone. You can be OKAY being with just your self.
Okay, R rated is over lol!
I tell you all of this from my own personal experience, so don’t forget that. I just like some have probably been thru a lot, and I’m just one who is writing it all down. For someone somewhere out there to learn and gain experience. Self love is not over rated and its not lonely. Its the best way to learn how to love someone else. Its the way to best know what you want out of life and our of your relationships. Yes you might stay single a little longer trying to find the right one. But its all worth the wait so a few years down the road your not in court getting a divorce because he just didn’t listen to you, or your tired of all the fighting, tired of all the lonely nights, tired of all the quite dinners.
So I’m just here to tell you all about self love and what it has done for me. I have no way shape or form learned everything, because every day is a learning experience. If you go each day with out learning some thing new. Then you either not telling your story enough. Or your not speaking to the right people. Use each day as a new ticket to life and live each day to the fullest. This I know is easier said then done. I know I live it everyday with anxiety and depression. So yes its harder for those like us. But that’s okay because yes we deserve love to. And if we can’t find anyone else to love us. At least we learned how to love ourselves right?? YES!! You can shout it from the roof tops and scream YES!!!!! I love my self, I love everything about me. It builds all kinds of confidence, and it most importantly builds a deep understanding and love for your self.
I know some of us were never taught to live for your self. Some of us were never loved. And others had to much love to give. That you just go around loving everyone and they just don’t love you back. Stop wasting that love on people who don’t give a rats ass about you. All that love you have can be better used on someone who will appreciate it. Do you know what I would do if someone loved me as much as I love. I love so fucking hard that it hurts when I don’t get what I give back……. That I have had to learn how to just stop loving so hard and fast. Because no not everyone is going to love like you do. So protect that love, protect your heart. And don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for being less loveable. Your protecting that heart of gold of yours and that’s A OKAY to be doing!
Just remember this! Live each day for your self. DO NOT live for any man or woman. If you wake up every day for someone else other then your self…. Your doing life all wrong. I learned this the hard way.. Oh god did I… yep I had a lot of sad and depressing days because he didn’t text me right away, didn’t tell me good morning, or his good morning text didn’t have baby at the end of it, or he took to long to text back, or his words spoke more then his actions. Yeah….. I understand sis… I understand more then you know. We look crazy and stupid but all it takes is a little effort from him. To show us he cares right?? You would think he would just WANT to do all of this to make you happy right??? No, sis… don’t do that to your self.. Don’t ever expect a man to just want to do this shit for you. Its not going to happen unless you have the right man. They are out there far and few but they are there. At least that’s what I’m told.. who knows. lol
Soooooooo remember this for me….
Love your self. Do things for your self. Live for your self. Learn how to please your self. Learn how to love your body. ( this one I’m still slowly working on my self… ) Don’t worry its pretty hard I understand. Love your self before going and loving someone else. Remember you are enough, and you are a FUCKING Queen you hear me!
That’s all for now….. MWAH!!!!! I love ya’ll!!!!